I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
is it fun? or sober?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
