Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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