White coat. Heels.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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