Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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