I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
