I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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