My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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