Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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