alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
