My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
