Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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