Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
