Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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