Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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