So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
