Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
