I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
