I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
