Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
