What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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