Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
there's paper in my vomit.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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