i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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