OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize