dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
