How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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