Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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