I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
