my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
