Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize