i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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