My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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