Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
