At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize