I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
