Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i drank out of a bidet.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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