So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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