I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I can tuck mytits in my pants
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
