Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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