So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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