Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
