Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
