was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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