I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
