I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper