so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
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Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!