so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
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I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
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My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?