Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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