real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
