Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
