y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
