i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
it was like eating out sand paper
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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