I didn't shave. On purpose
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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