This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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