What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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