you would pick up someone in the library
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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