what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she told me i tasted like america
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
