CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
