my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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