you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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