Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
