Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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