:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
